Innocent Questions

Continuing with the questions. To verify, these questions were posed to someone in recovery who also worked with people seeking recovery. The answers reflect the writer’s experience, strength, and hope and the professional’s “observational opinion.” How do you like that for equivocation?

Are the 12 steps excessively structured, formulaic, spiritual, outdated, or a punch line?

I think the answer to all those questions is yes. It further depends on who is making the observation. As to the steps being “excessively structured,” my response would be that their structure is certainly excessively interpreted and explained. Sometimes the steps are referred to as a “simple program for complicated people.” They are indeed a “formula” designed to direct the person seeking help to the same result as the first 100 men and women — a spiritual awakening.

The steps are “spiritual” because they are profound. They are not concepts as much as conceptions which change as the person using them changes. They were written in 1939, but to say they are outdated is often an attempt to cast doubt on their efficacy. Those who choose to characterize the 12-steps in this way are either unsatisfied with a previous attempt at getting and staying sober in the way suggested in the book Alcoholics Anonymous or are looking for some definitive scientific explanation to the problem, which must, in turn, have a scientific solution.

It must say something about the durability of a program that when the term “12-Step” is used in books, television, or film, it is generally recognized for what it is, whether it is being used in earnest or as a “punch line.”

How did the 12 steps change the direction of your life?

Because the steps are a process by their very nature, the change is more like a slow transformation. It’s less about changing a direction than providing a direction. It may be said that the people in the midst of their addiction believe they have a direction, but like many things in the alcoholic/addict’s life, that direction is filled with delusion.

From the beginning, maybe even before my first drink, I was acting and reacting in ways that impacted my brain. Of course, science wasn’t on to these facts in the 50s and 60s. In fact, it wasn’t common knowledge even in the late 80s when I got sober. While in treatment, I learned I couldn’t think my way into different behavior. I could only act my way into different thinking. Twenty years later, science backed up a conjecture that had been recovery canon for decades.

My addiction had literally hijacked my brain. As a result, my solution to every problem or issue was to drink myself unconscious. I had a toolbox for fixing life’s problems, but it was full of hammers. Didn’t matter what the issue was; I hit it with a hammer.

In 1938 or 39, Bill Wilson came up with a solution to that problem. He put together a set of steps that were essentially small actions a person could take that eventually, over time, would change the way they thought. As a result, recovery for me is in my daily actions. It has almost nothing to do with what I think, feel, believe, or have an opinion about. It is all about what I do.

Today, the direction of my life is summed up in Step 11, Part Two. “…praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.” If it’s in front of me to do that’s God’s will for me. I need no more directions than that.

This next question is really posed to a person with clinical experience, but I’m going to answer it as someone in recovery and with clinical experience.

If someone is diagnosed with a co-occurring disorder and taking prescribed medications such as anti-depressants, does this mean they’re not fully using their higher power? Are they really still working the 12 steps?

There is a lot of controversy and misinformation regarding this issue. AA has no opinion on outside issues. This is an example of why. The ridiculous notion that a person taking anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication that is not mood-altering is not “sober” or “clean” has somehow taken on a life of its own.

Mostly this is the result of program people, generally those who have been in recovery for many years, not believing the diagnosis of the person taking the medication. It is their belief that the person is just seeking to continue to use and using the diagnosis of anxiety or depression to justify this action.

Over the years, a lot of work has been done to dispel this nonsense, especially by those who suffer from those conditions attaining long-term recovery and carrying a message regarding this to others. Unfortunately, those who have returned to using because they weren’t able to manage their mood disorder through medication is astoundingly high.

If you are one of those who uses a chemical mood-stabilizing intervention, listen to no one but your prescribing physician regarding its use. People in 12-Step programs are well meaning people and even if they have some experience to share, they are not your prescriber. Part of recovery is being responsible. Make sure you are looking after yourself.

What step are you currently on?

I like this question, but I can’t remember the last time someone asked me that what step I was on. What I do know is that at any time during a day, I am probably “on a step” as a way of reacting to the things which are in front of me.

I wrote an article some years ago called, We’ve Got A Step For That. It’s premise was that most of the recovering person’s day-to-day issues could be dealt with through the program.

People newly in recovery will often come running to their sponsor with some problem they feel certain is unique to them. The sponsor will then direct them to some portion of the program designed in 1939 to deal with this “one of a kind” problem. This may also be why the phrase, “Keep coming back” is so popular.

What was your hardest step? Why?

This question is as “time specific” as the previous question. What was hard in the first 30 to 90 days of recovery is different than what step may present the greatest ongoing challenge today. This is also what makes the steps “profound.” Their definitions continue to change as the person changes in their recovery.

If the 12 steps are tools, what did they uncover or unlock in you? Any enlightenments?

This is a key understanding that can get lost in all the discussion of the steps. If you look at the steps closely, Steps One and Two are information, Step Three is a call to action, Steps Four through Nine, are the actions, and Steps Ten through Twelve are the continuous action of the previous six steps.

Did you have any unique experiences with a step? Funny, weird, unexpected?

It’s my experience that most of the stories you hear regarding “unique experiences” have to do with either Step One or Step Nine. The first is usually stories of those in dire straits who are saved by finding AA or someone in the fellowship who leads them into the idea of a new way of life. In the stories that “disclose in a general way” this would be classified as “what happened.”

Any steps you thought you understood but in hindsight you REALLY understand now?

All of them and none of them. I have referenced this earlier in some of the things I’ve written. I don’t think it is possible to fully understand the steps. It boils down to having an interpretation of the steps that helps you here and now. Early in my recovery the steps were something I “did.” As I’ve stayed sober longer the steps are what I have “become.”

Did you find instant results in the 12 steps?

NO. I found gradual results, on a daily basis, that precipitated long-term change. The steps were a part of that process. I needed to work the steps in order to achieve a spiritual experience, but the results in my life while doing that were varied and incremental.