We’ve Got A Step For That

I referenced this small article I wrote in the last blog. Here is a re-publishing of it.

Recovery Matters Article “We’ve Got A Step For That”

I know an old timer whose response to every problem you bring him is, “We’ve got a step for that!” If you continue to stare blankly he will then proceed to explain which step and how it applies. I haven’t known him to be wrong yet. This guy isn’t some remarkable sage. He’s just been around long enough to see that addicts and alcoholics tend to bring the same problems. For many, this “simple kit of spiritual tools” provides the way to navigate life on a daily basis. But as with any “tools” experience helps direct us on their use.

In the utilization of these “spiritual tools” It is probably foolish to believe that the problems of someone with a few to many years of recovery are appreciably different than those of the newcomer. Therefore, the premise of “We’ve got a step for that.” applies to all, not just some. This is especially true when we talk about relapse. Nothing is so subtle as the change in attitude and behavior that often precedes a return to use or some kind of behavioral crisis.

People who return to use will often point to the more obvious actions leading up the event. They will say they had stopped going to meetings or stopped talking with their sponsor. What are often not recognized are the less obvious thoughts and emotions that precede those obvious actions. These changes are very subtle and are most common among those who have begun to “let up on the spiritual program of action.”

For me, the feeling that I need to control “life” begins to show up and I am not aware of it. I know what this can do to my spiritual condition. I even present workshops where I loudly announce that “control and spirituality cannot occupy the same space,” and yet there I go.

It’s not the big things of which I take back control. After paying a substantial amount of money in car maintenance, the car won’t start. No problem. Take it back to the garage. My daughter leaves my six month old grandson with me by myself for five hours three days in row. Suck it up. Be a grandpa. I live in Minnesota. I Pray that snow won’t ruin our Independence Day celebration. I recognize the limits of my “control” in these situations and can turn them over.

Where I start to take the train off the rails is more subtle, and therefore, more dangerous. I practice my own brand of “I know better” control. “I don’t need to go to my meeting tonight.” “I don’t like working with newcomers because they’re too time consuming.” “I get worn out by of all these ‘spiritual’ people all the time.” Here’s one of my favorites, “I do this all day long.” Oh brother, do we have a step for this guy.

It’s not long before this kind of thinking and inaction begin to erode the fiber of my spiritual condition. In fact, it happens in the nanosecond after I first think it and then follow it with an active inaction. What I do in recovery keeps me there. What I chose not to do in recovery eventually takes Old 96 off the trestle over Willow Creek.

Nobody in my life, including myself, cares about my clear understanding of the steps. My ability to get up in front of people and speak, or my ability to write an article on any subject. What people who know me, my family, my neighbor, my employer and employees care about is that I show up and do what I said I would do. The rest is just “inexplicable dumb shows and noise.”

No matter what is going on in a recovering person’s life right now. No matter what the problem, get to a meeting, talk to someone and hopefully someone will say, “Hey, we got a step for that.”