Month: June 2024

Step 12:

Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

What is your “spirit?”

That’s either a great question or a mindless question. In either case, it’s not an easy question. This is individual for each person. But anyone getting to this point will be fairly certain what their spirit is.

What is its function?

What I find most confusing about this Step is how the narrowness of its original intention has become so broad in its interpretation. The step is a report card. It states that the expected actions will result in a transfiguration.

This Step lets the individual know that the “result” of taking all these Steps is a spiritual awakening. Whether you wanted one or not. Whether you believed that such a thing is possible or not. Whether you have an issue with that “God stuff” or not.

In Appendices II of Alcoholics Anonymous, it says:

He finally realizes that he has undergone a profound alteration in his reaction to life; that such a change could hardly have been brought about by himself alone.

If this wasn’t your experience, check your pockets. If you’re wearing the same pants you wore when you started this process, you may not have been as thorough as needed. You might want to consider getting a sponsor for the next round.

How do you carry this message?

We need to ask, What is the message? There are a lot of definitions of what “ carrying the message” is. But often, the message is blurred by the well-meaning messenger. This message of the steps is simple. If you work these steps you will have a spiritual awakening. No more, no less.

If that has happened, then your lifelong assignment is to tell other people this and to stop hurting everyone who comes into contact with you. Not telling others this simple truth is doing them a disservice.

This message isn’t about a happier life or a release from everything holding you down. It is the stories that are told in meetings of how it was, what happened, and what it’s like now. That’s the process we need so that we have the chance to identify with one another.

In “How it works” it lays it out perfectly before even saying what the steps are. “If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it-then you are ready to take certain steps.”

That’s the message, pure and simple, like the steps. I won’t guarantee this change will make your life better, but it will make your life different. If that difference is better then so be it.

Is it worth it?

I haven’t done one thing in this program since 1986 that hasn’t been worth it. Maybe I didn’t see it right away. Sometimes I didn’t see it for years. When I try to place who I am today against who I would have been if I hadn’t done this is tough. That doesn’t mean I regret it.

I’m frustrated that this is my journey and the sharing of it today is merely a story. Like I’ve already said, I can share what it was like, what happened and, what it’s like now. I can’t really share what it could have been like if nothing had happened.

What I mostly have to share is the gratitude I have for the life I do have today. I’m certain that other life would have been wasted and if lucky short. The most precious things I have today wouldn’t have been possible. I wouldn’t have known this different life.

How do you explain this to others who haven’t experienced it themselves. One often seeks the perfect words to help others see what this different life could be like to them. Few have the capacity to hear it because few have the capacity to tell it in a way that is transformative. Every once in a while, you will hear of someone who decided to take the leap because of a story they heard. This is why we must continue to tell our stories.

What do you get out of it?

Understand, this isn’t an incentive driven program. You get sober and I get a toaster. All anyone gets is another day sober. Another chance to add to the stream of life. I always reflect on how lucky I am to be one of those who made that decision to turn it over. I don’t often reflect anymore on “what’s in it for me?”

I never tire of the story of Bill Wilson, co-founder of Alcoholics Anonymous, complaining to his wife, Lois, that he had been working with all these drunks for nine months and not one of them stayed sober.

“You did,” said Lois quietly.

Our program of recovery really started there. It is still essentially one drunk talking to another.

Do you revisit any steps?

Every day. The steps are designed to be revisited again and again. They are profound and change their meaning with each revisit. Our ongoing life experience in recovery changes the way we see and experience life. For those who remain on this path, this is that profound alteration in our reaction to life referenced earlier.

For many who have remained engaged and diligent in their recovery, the steps are less something they do as something they become. But just as easily, those who fall back on their daily practice are as likely to need to refocus their attention on the steps from one to nine.

I know this happens. It happened to me. No matter how strong you think your program of recovery is, it’s the maintenance of the little, daily things that are most important. It’s practicing these principles where your feet are.

Do you still attend meetings?

I do. I’m not afraid to admit that it’s not as often as I should or like. I have a friend who says, “I go to meetings to find out what happens to people who don’t go to meetings.”

I go to meetings because I tend to drift. What I mean by that is my character defects aren’t completely gone. They’re not even in retirement. They are merely cooling their heels off to the side and jump into action whenever I least expect it. Because of this, I go to meetings to get “pushed back in.” I need the centering that comes from meetings. I’m not there to hear new things. I’m there to be reminded of the old things.

More than anything, if I’m feeling out of sorts – restless, irritable, and discontented – I know a meeting will help address that better than anything I know. Spending one hour surrounded by positive energy — experience, strength and hope — is just enough to make everything that comes after that okay.

Thank You!

This is the last installment of the questions about the steps as presented to me by the team developing Discovering the 12 Steps by Hazelden Publishing. I am moving on to conduct a book study of The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions.  I hope you will join me.