Accept Every Gift

Last week, I had a pretty good response to an article I wrote a few years ago. I thought I’d post another one here of which I’m particularly fond. I hope you enjoy it.

Recovery Matters Article – “Accept Every Gift”

There are a lot of slogans surrounding recovery. We see them at meetings, we read them in meditation books, they’re cited in blogs on recovery and I hear them endlessly from my sponsor who thinks the answer to everything is “Easy Does It” or “Let go and let God.” To the newcomer these may seem elementary, with little value. For those who have been “trudging the road” for a while they are a reminder of the simplicity of a program recovery.

Over the last few years, I’ve come across a set of “slogans” that I’ve added to my own mix. These don’t come from any recovery circle that I’m aware of, but they are as applicable to my recovery today as anything I’ve seen in quite a while. These are actually the three basic principles of improvisation.

For those unfamiliar with it, improvisation is the down and dirty embodiment of the power of now. Those who do Improv (its accepted, shortened name) must be firmly planted where their feet are. Many of our fastest and wittiest comedians have long practice with the art of Improv. The three “rules” are simple, as all effective rules are:

1. Accept every gift.
2. Say “Yes, and…”
3. Make your partner look good.

Accept Every Gift

In Improv, you reject nothing. The art and the joy of the craft live in this simple rule. You are not the initiator of what happens, you are the creator of what happens next. This is exactly the way I’d like to live my life each day. For me, God is the initiator of what happens and I am the creator of what happens next. For this to work I must accept every gift.

Even though this may seem fundamental, it’s the one I screw up the most. If I believe everything happens for a reason and I do, then everything that comes to me must be a gift. I need to be able to accept it regardless of my ability to perceive it as a gift. Even if I don’t like it or wish it could be different I must accept it as a gift.

Say “Yes, and…”

Another key element of Improv is you never say “No.” By accepting every gift you are fundamentally saying “Yes.” As the creator of what happens next, you must continue, adding to the gift. What I do with the gift once it’s handed to me is as important as accepting the gift itself. I am say “Yes, and…” What comes next is the new gift I pass along.

As with rule number one, this is exactly the way I’d like to live my life each day.  There have been plenty of times in my life where “no” could have easily been “yes, and…” It’s sad to admit that I missed out on a lot of things life offered because I said “no” rather than “yes, and…”

Make Your Partner Look Good

Improv at it’s core is selfless and co-creative. When each person in the relationship is trying to make the other person look good, the outcomes are almost limitless. The overriding principle is “We’re in this together. I want you to succeed.”

I have numerous partners in this life — my family, my friends, my co-workers and God. I can’t honestly say I’ve done a stellar job in making them look good, but I’d love to give it a try. Most of my life, despite my best efforts, I’ve been inner directed and outer centered. What Improv teaches is how to be inner centered and outer directed.

You may ask, “What does this have to do with recovery?” I like simple instructions for life. I’m not interested in being complicated or deep. Because recovery is a daily process, I need help staying in the now. These three rules can really help me do that. One day at a time, one hour at a time, one moment at a time.