I Feel the Spirit

Step 6:

Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

What does “entirely ready” feel like?

It feels a lot like letting go once a person has “admitted” the “exact nature” of their “wrongs,” they will have a list of character defects. This isn’t generally a long list, but it is quite inclusive. I’ve heard people trying to make themselves special and unique with an abundance of “specialized” character defects. “I have the defect of criticizing other people.” “That’s because you’re afraid of other people and are criticizing them before they criticize you. Your defect is fear.” “My defect is that I help everybody but myself.” “You want everybody’s attention and approval, and you’re afraid you won’t get it if you don’t help. Your defects are self-centeredness and fear.” And so it goes.

Is Step 6 a waiting game or a tease?

Truthfully, there shouldn’t be much waiting involved. Six is really an opportunity to see if we got it all. Were we thorough enough with our Fourth and Fifth Steps? Did we cover all aspects suggested? Just before this step in the Big Book is where the “first set of promises” are articulated. It starts out: “We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past.” (pg. 75) You’ll notice it doesn’t say anything about the nice things we did. We are going to be dealing exclusively with our defects of character. We need to know that we are “entirely” ready and that we are going to remove “all” the defects. I can tell you that generally, people are either all in or, eventually, they are out.

Why is Step 6 important – why aren’t Steps 6 & 7 combined?

It’s important because if we have done 4 and 5 thoroughly, we have fully revealed those things that drive us. They inform everything we think and everything we do. I need to figure out what they are and what I can replace them with — their alternative. This process can take some time because I don’t want to rush into anything. Step Six is designed to give us time to consider the importance of making this commitment. We must be “entirely” willing to have “all” our defects removed before we move on to the next step.

 Is this an excuse to disown your defects?

Well, good luck with that. Our defects are our defects. Even though the next step suggests that we can get rid of these, they don’t fully go away. They stay out of sight until I decide I don’t need to continue

Step 7:

Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Does God remove all the defects in step 7?

We “humbly” ask God to remove our shortcoming or defects of character. Whether He removes them or not I can’t say. I know that mine haven’t been removed. I don’t go to a meeting for a week and some semblance of my character defects come ambling back into my life and I will act out on those defects in all my daily affairs.

How do you feel about the ones that remain?

I’ve either got to recognize them and keep them from “poking” other people, which is what my defects generally do, or figure out what to replace them with. I think ongoing recovery is about opposites and subtraction. I subtract the things in my life that block me from God and others and then whatever is left is mine to manage. My defects are at my core, what the Big Book calls “the root of our troubles.” Well, I can’t very well pull out something that’s root without doing some serious damage, so the only alternative is to do the opposite. Where I am fearful, I can be courageous. Where I am dishonest I can become trustworthy. Where I am selfish, I can become selfless. It is only in this way that my defects of character are removed from my daily life. I don’t believe they are ever removed from my core.

Did you have familiar behaviors that you didn’t know how to live without?

Still do. That’s why I continue to go to meetings, participate in the fellowship and do the steps.

Question for viewer: